I’ve met my Owl, he lives in the wood.
He is large like my eagle, but harder to see.
His painted wings wear the mask of the trees.
How he found me, I will not know.
He was only in my dreaming then, decades ago.
My mind was an explosion then, ready to blow.
That was my beginning then, but now he is here.
Hunting and watching on this sacred ground.
I can see him, fear him, and love him,
my eyes are open now.
I want to sit in the shade today.
Do some thinking,
let the venom rise.
Swallow hope for another day
and wait outside
for my turn in time.
My anxiety is my shadow. It has hung over me, followed me around, and woken me up in the middle of the night throughout my entire life. It goes by any number of names: fear, insecurity, shyness, and pride. It shows up at the most inopportune times, and out-stays its welcome almost every time. It critiques my writing, the way I do or don’t do my hair. It whispers, “stay down, don’t raise your hand, your wrong”. It has predicted my failures and fine-tuned my doubt. It has attempted to remodel my home, life, and mind with a frequency attune to light speed. It has become an integral part of me.
It has been with me since the beginning, and it ties me to me. I have shared my childhood, my family, and all of my relationships with anxiety and while it may not be the best of company, it has never left me. It has never cheated on me, abandoned me, or found a younger model. It always has my back because that’s where it lives. It doesn’t give the best of advice, but at least it tries. It really just wants me to stay safe at home, alone. When I accepted this reality, my mind and my life changed entirely. Meet my anxiety, it’s always with me. It’s my shadow, it protects me.
Love yourself and the universe will follow suit.
It will all fall in line.
Give in to your faith,
now is your time.
Be grateful and let go,
the best of what’s left to be
waits in want patiently.
It’s time for you to grow.
These habitual emotional trials will end
when you pass your final judgement.
When you decide to declare change,
the universe will follow suit.
You are your own judge and jury.
No one, not any one, has a say
in who you choose to be.
Be gentle and make a choice.
Dear Bird- pay attention. This is a chunky and delightful taste of truth.
Catch it by the tale and
pin it up, pin it up.
Chasing this wild idea
was never about luck.
The characters were in you,
with you all along.
This burst of sound
is their inaugural song.
Lying in wait,
in old journals on notecards,
these voices in your mind
are demands from your heart.
Now is the time
to make them into art!
A creative 2018 is underway, catch it by the tale and pin it up, pin it up!
She, with her Magpie mind,
was drawn and fated, bound to shine.
She spoke in all tongues and made light of the dark.
She said yes to Bacchus and refused refuge on Noah’s famed Ark.
The black feathered Maven, white breasted and fair
would not be kept, so she took to the air.
Her triumph of choice taking on chance
evoked a curiosity bound for romance.
She made up her heart to make two of one,
and looked to the stars to see it done.
Determined to reach them, radiant and bright,
she forged a great bridge and lept into flight.
On the seventh night of the seventh moon,
she became forever illuminated in the arms of Altair.
Seekers in the dark still find her there.
Wary of wolves and worshipped with wine,
tales of her saga were shared far and wide.
One for sorrow, two for luck.
When the light goes out,
Count the crows and watch your souls!
We are walking in dark times.
Keep a window open, lock down your doors.
What goes out can’t come in.
Nothing can be the same again.
All of the pain inherited.
It has been genetically foretold.
The end of man will come at his own hand,
ravaged by his soul.
The Trinity complete,
the birds are watching now.
Three Crows in a row,
will see it all play out.
You with your sweet demise.
Line by line,
you split yourself in two.
that one in life
and one in death
would keep you from
your final rest.
you always knew.